Mar. 19th, 2013

thatotherperv: (damaged)
that my sister literally just gave me credit for being upright, this morning. my sister who is also sort of currently my boss, temporarily, because I'm currently incapable of handling my job without freezing up completely and doing nothing.

living with depression sucks so fucking hard. I was doing so well, I was doing everything RIGHT, and then apparently I started experiencing "breakthrough" with the antidepressants I've been on for 5 years, and now I'm white-knuckling my entire fucking life and hoping a local psychiatrist will just CALL ME THE FUCK BACK ALREADY so that we can go about getting me on something that works.

I am, otoh, completely grateful that I work with family and friends who are willing to give me the crutches I need right now. the last time, my work situation was, you know, normal and I ended up quitting (because I could no longer get up in the morning) and being unemployed on the couch for forever, since it was 2007 and the economy was in free-fall. I feel more pressure to perform in this job, since it's a small company and my boss has 5 kids and you know, needs to feed them and needs me to do my job in order for that to happen, but you know. grateful.

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thatotherperv

August 2014

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