thatotherperv: (d. perverted and proud (by clouds_of_wh)
so, I made a run to McD's this morning for a chicken biscuit (how thrilled was I when they started carrying those here? I miss NC <3) and when I pulled up, I was listening to a podcast on the g-spot.

I honestly didn't think about it til the guy popped his head out for my credit card just in time to hear "...an expulsion of fluid. That is female ejaculation."

he was all O_O "Uh...."

and because I didn't hit pause, it kept on going with something like, "when you're ready for some g-spot play, first, go pee...."

BWAHAHAHAHAHA. and here the guy was thinking it couldn't get any more flabbergasting than female ejaculation. I've never seen someone turn THAT shade of red. I tried really hard not to crack up until after I was pulling away, but. yeah.
thatotherperv: (e. ice sucks (by eyesthatslay))
evol business would grind to a halt.

how do I know this? because it snowed this morning in central Texas, and even though there's no ice, even though there's no snow left on the ground, even though the only reason there's any snow left at *all* is because it's overcast, people are running around like panicked chickens.

I was walking around outside in a hoodie and sandles, carrying an iced coffee. people were staring. it was fun :) one kid in my parking lot was trying to clear the *loose* snow off every inch of his car (not just the windshield...the hood, trunk, roof, back window...) with a pocket-sized ice scraper. with a mew of disgust on his face while he did so, because his bare hands were getting cold and wet.

*facepalm*

[insert aggie joke here]

it would be slightly less funny if there was actually any ice, but as it is, the idiots can't actually injure each other, so I say they can go play in snow-covered traffic.
thatotherperv: (e. crazy face (by crystalsc))
I will never again go grocery shopping in a college town the Sunday that all the parents of Texas are trying to move their Precious Little Darlings (tm) into their first dorm and/or apartment.

I just wanted milk and coffee, people. that's all. I stood in line for twenty minutes.

seriously? it was like they were all stocking up for the imminent apocalypse. heavy on the hydrogenated oil. overflowing shopping carts. one girl? had her whole family in tow. they had THREE BASKETS. three full-sized, full-to-the-brim carts. which, incidentally, were blocking the entire main isle while she hunted for an A&M shotglass bearing her name.

?????

yes, it boggled my mind as well.
thatotherperv: (o. qaf faggot (by forever_xwrong))
hey guys, I just wanted to check in on the drabble call I did...last week? whenever I did it, anyway. I loved yalls prompts, and when I went to write I decided I was too squeamish about smudging characterization to write them cold. chalk it up to virgo detail-fussing.

so I bought the POTC trilogy and am rewatching that, and the juices are stirring...especially on the jack/kaylee, hee! I have to order QAF because none of the stores in town carry any of it. apparently Will & Grace and sometimes Queer Eye are innocuous enough but QAF is just too gay. after all, the homos in that show have the nerve to FUCK. I even asked at the register in one place and the girl looked at me and said "what's that?"

and then the baby jesus wept. because he enjoys the manlove too, dontcha know.

cest la vive, it's the world I'm currently living in.

anyway, they're hopefully coming by the end of next month. so long off because school's about to start.

*smooches*
thatotherperv: (gen perverted and proud (by clouds_of_wh)
I'm in the Most Conservative Place on Earth, the people next to me are holding Bible study at 8am on a Monday during finals, and I'm writing porn

\o/

I'd just like to say I love my life.




[ETA: because these guys are so adorably earnest, I feel compelled to add that I'm not making fun of them. just, you know. oh, the irony. and I kinda like my way better :P ]

[ETA, ETA: yeah no, the christians don't bother me at all. what makes me want to vomit are the girls behind me making an earnest argument for school vouchers. fucking baby republicans. what is WRONG with this town?]

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