thatotherperv: (jensen/chris (by frontyardninja))
no internet plus upcoming finals makes mel something something (go crazy?)

I just opened like, 20 of yalls posts in tabs that looked interesting. these aren't even fic things, just personal/misc posts I want to keep up with. *facepalm* you'll hear from me sometimes next decade.

a blabber on where and how I've been )

so anyway I have come to accept that I am incapable of having normal sex dreams about my favorite celebrities. first there was the dream about Jon stewart where he was a gay man in a marriage of convenience and we agreed to have lots of hot orgies.

so the other night, I was thinking before I went to bed about the convention of making Chris into Jensen's cousin in j2 fic, when the author doesn't want to address Chris/Jen overtones. and how that makes me itch to write Chris/Jen cousincest, haha.

so I go to sleep. and I have this dream. *facepalm* I think you can guess where this is going.

it was christmas or something and Chris was my cousin, I guess, who I'd grown up with but hadn't seen in a few years, but had always had a thing for. and we were flirting the whole time and our family was politely ignoring the whole thing as best they could, and I kept baiting him into kissing me, but all I could get were these chaste sort of family kisses. so we're sneaking around and my sister's all, are you trying to bang our cousin? and I'm like, yeah sorta-kinda-definitely, and my sister being my sister found this extremely amusing. and then finally I lost my patience with his insistence on being, you know, *not incestuous*, and he gave me another damn innocent kiss and I was like, Christian Kane, you are a huge fucking cocktease.

and the look on his *face*. and then I walked away.

and then later, just as we were about to fuck (hey, I knew what I was doing...you throw down that kind of challenge, you get results), another cousin (not Jensen, more's the pity...I could have worked with that) arrived and cockblocked and I woke up all pissy.

I mean I guess it's not that hard to figure out where it came from, with the bunny I was contemplating before bed, and the end no doubt being influenced by state of the mel item #4. but regardless, I was highly amused that my brain seems intent on creating these ridiculous premises for my sex dreams.
thatotherperv: (john/papa)
tonight's minutes:

1) I start back to school on Monday. I'm terrified. no, seriously. I'm like. I mean, I'm not freaking out, because I haven't let myself, but it's like this nagging little feeling underneath all my calm that's telling me I'm going to fail at life again. and I know I'm not. at least, part of my brain knows I'm not. but there's another part of my brain that knows I am, and it won't shut up. I know there's nothing for it other than to forge ahead as if nothing's wrong and bluff my way clear of it, but it's freakin me out, man.

and yes, that was the most pitifully blatant plea for lovins ever.


2) ZOMG COME SEE MY NEW LAYOUT. no seriously. SERIIIOUUSSSLYYYYYY. my brain has gone more multifandom, so I wanted a layout to reflect that a little bit even though I'm not really that multifandom with the fic.

you know, sometimes, when I describe to [livejournal.com profile] vamptastica what I want, what she produces looks straight out of my brain. even the parts I didn't describe to her. it's kinda freaky. I think she's got some kind of brain reader scanny invasive freaky mind-control thing on me. *eyes her* but she uses it for gooooooood. *snogs the hell out of her* thanks so much, sweetie. I sure as hell have no talent with graphics, but you do the dirty work for me :) I'm immensely grateful.

in case there's somebody you don't recognize: (in order, left to right) Jamie Bamber (of Battlestar Galactica), Jon Stewart, Jeffrey Dean Morgan (of spn), Johnny Depp, Gale Harold (of QaF US), Jensen Ackles, Christian Kane, James and Dave.


3) I meant to say this a while back. I have the best friends ever. best.friends.ever. let me tell you about their awesomeness, but first you need to understand the absolute INSANITY that I experienced on the flight up to Chicago. well, you don't HAVE to. but I wanna catalogue it, haha )

so, after all that, I was ready to gnaw my own arm off. seriously. I was a mess. gone was the zen. so I'm chatting with [livejournal.com profile] nyghtpet on msn on my phone, and she was her wonderful self. and then [livejournal.com profile] madame_meretrix hops on and. yall.

she started writing me impromptu Jeff/Jensen AU dirtiest!baddest!wrongest!porn in the middle of IAH. I slunk off to a private corner and um. hahaha. yeah. it was goooooooodddddd. fastest 45 minutes ever, and it totally reset my mood. I came back, and my parents were all, why are you grinning? because seriously, I couldn't stop, ear to ear, it was just that much fun. she killed me and Steph and Casey *dead*.

and then I got to Chicago and [livejournal.com profile] nyghtpet had posted me some more JDM/JA porn *hearts her* chicken soup for the soul, I tell you.

annnndddd when I was sick, Kari started another h/c JDM/JA AU thing for me. *loves* I'm spoiled rotten, yall.

*facepalm*

Jan. 2nd, 2008 02:27 pm
thatotherperv: (angel happy face (by scarymime))
me: excuse me...I'm...er...my toenail is like, not really. attached. anymore.
nurse: *looks down* oh. my. yeah, you did a good job...let's get you through to urgent care.
me: ok, well, see, I already had an appointment.
nurse: ok, let me just [inputs info]
me: well yeah, see but the appointment was for a sinus infection that's secondary to this cold I had, and then I was leaving the house and I sorta...slammed my toe in the door, and... *pants, winded* I'm not normally squeamish, but I've been sick, so I couldn't stand to even look at it....
nurse: *stares at my like I have three heads* well...yeah. why don't you...just...sit.
me: cad I haf a tissue?
nurse: sure *watches me honk my nose* wait, so you were coming in for...upper respiratory?
me: *nods*
nurse: and then you...when did you do *that*? *points*
me: um...15 minutes ago? I was coming here anyway, so I just sort of...I bled all over my car.
nurse: *stares*


I feel like she wanted to give me an "I can dress myself" ribbon. but I have drugs now \o/ funny thing, not the first time I've ripped my toenail off. this one doesn't hurt as bad as the first time, though.

I know I'm behind on answering fb for the little thing I posted...I appreciate all your comments! today is the first day I don't feel like I'm dying. so uh, I'll get to that soon.ish.
thatotherperv: (db jackpot (by madame_meretrix))
*alright, folks. I'm moving today, finally. I'm going to try to steal internet from my neighbors because I'm poor white trash, but if they don't have any, I might be disappearing for a few days. I'm not dead, just very busy :) I've stocked up on CW AU rps on my hard drive to get me through a drought, haha

*Evan got home safe and sound on Tuesday, btw, so thanks for keeping him in your prayers.

*btw, thanks to [livejournal.com profile] darklingdawns, [livejournal.com profile] felisblanco, [livejournal.com profile] dark_amia, [livejournal.com profile] altyronsmaker, [livejournal.com profile] philips, [livejournal.com profile] adorkablefae, and [livejournal.com profile] so_sharlemaine for uploading music yesterday for me to enjoy. yall rock my socks off, and bethany and evan were quite impressed by teh power of the flist :) I invite you all to go see if you want any of the songs they offered, since they should be available for other uploads. spreading the wealth :)

also, special thanks to [livejournal.com profile] elisi for solving my (our) m4a problem. I haven't tried it yet, but she reports that the site www.zamzar.com will convert the file for free

*ps, I found this photo/interview with jensen ackles when he was Very Young. is it wrong that I want to molest him? according to bethany, I once told her I wanted to keep a freshman in my closet and reward him with food for learning sex tricks. I think he would have made a lovely candidate.

however, as molestable as he was, boy grew into his face well. he's more attractive now, I think.

*also, if anyone's wondering if I've forgotten about the Sooper Sekrit Scheme human AU site now known as The Human Condition, it's nearing completion. my sister's a busy little worker bee, though atm she's cussing me out for the fact that yall write 30 chapter, 300 page books of smut :)
thatotherperv: (wes crazy face (by crystalsc))
we went to IKEA yesterday.

let us pause and reflect.

I'd never been to an Ikea, and I never *wanted* to go, but after 3 weeks of listening to me stress over how I couldn't find a dining table and bookshelf like I wanted for the new office, Bethany smacked me upside the head and dragged me there.

in the end, I must thank her really, because I found some things I like for far less than I was beginning to dread paying. but nevertheless--

that store is my own personal version of hell. wandering endlessly through the maze of little fake bedrooms and living rooms and kitchens...yes. an eternity there would be more than enough payback for my earthly sins, I believe.

it was traumatic. I was overstimulated with choices. my head was literally spinning. I think they design the place specifically to overwhelm and bamboozle you. I mean, jesus christ, it's *literally* a rat maze. they make going back to review your possible choices into a serious obstacle course.

and they are evil for putting food in the middle, just when you're about to keel over from low blood sugar. EVIL.

I slept 10 hours last night, and I dreamed of ready-to-assemble furniture.

on another note, I believe shopping for furniture in a hatchback was probably a bad plan. it fit because her back seats fold down to open up the trunk, but I was kissing the dashboard the whole way back from Round Rock. also, the guy helping us load the car was cussing in Spanish the entire time he was shoving stuff in. I heard "mierda" muttered no less than a dozen times.
thatotherperv: (spike naughty (by vamptastica))
I had a dream last night that reminded me of something. when I was a senior in high school, I took a ditch day (the only day I ever ditched) with my two best friends from growing up.

what did we do with our bad selves?

we went to the museum of modern art. and then fretted that we were going to get "caught," until we realized no one would be suspicious for a second that we were ditching school to go to an art museum. and it was a gorgeous day and we went and played in Herman Park. and then we went out to lunch and felt all grown-up, and my friend that drove was terrified of the freeway.

good times.

the dream that reminded me of this? I dreamed that the three of us tried to sneak into an IMAX movie, got caught twice and chased out, and then My Very Persuasive Best Friend convinced the guy to let us in. now that I look back on it, I'm surprised we never tried this.
thatotherperv: (gen wants prostate (by clouds-of-white))
uh, hi! haha. I just thought I would pop my head in and say, not dead. I'm just uber busy right now and have nothing of particularly fannish interest to say, so I've been (and will probably continue to be) quiet.

well, there is the fact that last night I was considering writing Josh/Sam slash from West Wing, haha *facepalm* I was just wondering how they originally met and then there were half-baked bunnies and. ew. half-baked bunnies. yuck.

where was I? *wanders off*

oh! I thought we could play a fun game. I do the majority of my christmas shopping online, because I'm a lazyass, haha. so I'm going to show you my favorite gifts that I'm giving this year, and then you can do the same. is there anything particularly nifty that you're proud of thinking up? showwww meeeeeeee.

my favorites:
*I'm giving my sister a book on the anatomy of yoga. she'd asked for a few yoga books and this wasn't one of them, but I really think she'll appreciate the geekiness, and it's definitely a gift *I'd* give her, you know?
*my brother-in-law is a seriously smart guy and he soaks up info like a sponge, man. seriously. always learning. so I thought I'd get him something brain-feedy. either a subscription to the New Yorker or the Economist...my sister's doing recon to figure out which he'd like better.
*my BiL's brother lives at the frickin north pole (or at least, one of those midwestern states) and likes to go running outside, the nut. anyway, I'm getting him some ear warmer headphones. fuckin nifty little gadget.
*his girlfriend (fiance? haha I don't know) wants new slippers so I'm giving her big hairy polar bear feet, which make me snorfle.
*my best friend is craaaazy about the houston astros. it's an obsession, really. a few years ago I bought her an astros calendar and penned in all the birthdays of our friends (because I always have to remind her anyway) and stapled a little folded to-be-opened-this-month note on each page, each one giving a new reason why she's awesome and I love her. it was a biiiiig hit. I'm getting her another one, this time with birthdays, this day-in-histories, and some super sekrit notes with inside jokes and geeky medical stuff (she's in med school).
*Bethany's really into sewing and knitting presents for people, so I'm getting her her own "made by" labels

I haven't been enthusiastic and really giving at christmas for a few years, so I'm especially excited about this year. gift-giving is normally Very Important to me. I like finding the perfect thing to meet the recipient's interests, my interests, something that bonds the two of us together. plus! Chicago this year for Christmas. yay for snow (and yes, I know how fucking cold it is in Chicago in December, haha. but I get to go back home to Texas afterwards, so it makes no never-mind to me)

okay, dish! what are you wrapping up this year?
thatotherperv: (bed over boy (by lit_gal))
I have the next chapter of Made soclose to being done that it's stupid, but apparently so am I, since I can't scrape together enough brain cells to close the deal. I've foolishly squandered all mine on academic rigor. someone should lend me theirs for teh porn.

I went to see American gangster with an old friend. now I smell faintly like chewing tobacco. the movie was good! a little long but that might have been me, because if I see a movie that starts after 8:30pm, I get really drowsy and cranky towards the end. I'm such an old lady. anyway, it was good. Denzel was *sexy* with all the unflinching confident power and the falsely moral charm.

tomorrow I'm off to apartment shop for the new semester, and while I'm at it, an old classmate of mine is going to give me the testicle notes I'm missing. I hardly know her, but she's one of the people I wish I had befriended while there, and she's super sweet and didn't even bat an eye. hey, maybe I'll have THREE friends in that town when I go back! movin on up, weezie!

I'm watching the As2 episode where he tries to win back Cordy's friendship. I think these might be some of my favorite scenes ever. *hearts*

did I make two personal posts today? *mumblety mumblety*
*wanders off to curl up in my recliner and doze to Angel*
thatotherperv: (spike second look (by fantasm_bunny))
I feel chatty today, so don't be surprised if I make multiple posts. I miss your brains. *massages them gently*

I had a very interesting discussion with my father that lasted the better part of the morning. a good solid three hours of discussing policy theory. my dad and I get into this type of thing sometimes, now that I'm older and have clearly defined opinions of my own, and especially now that his own opinions are becoming more progressive. not because I didn't want to talk to him when he disagreed with me, but because he wasn't listening to what I had to say, so it was pointless. now that his ideas are more closely aligned with mine, he's better at listening. marginally.

yeah there's more where that came from...more about the discussion itself than the content of that discussion, really )
thatotherperv: (Angel whatever (by scarymime))
I went rock-picking with my sister the other day. We hiked down to this little pebble beach and filled up some backpacks with rocks for various parts of their garden they’re in the process of decorating, and it’s the kind of activity that lends itself to introspective discussion. For us, anyway. We’re introspective people, and very much in tune with one another’s thinking.

And the conversation came back to the nature of friendships and the things we expect from our friends, now that we are, by all accounts, Grown-Ups. And two of the things that we cherish most in friends are 1) a level of candidness that disposes of all polite and decorous bullshit, and 2) a desire to handle your own affairs and not drag third parties into your arguments. Those are pretty rare things to come by, especially in combination, but we’ve been lucky enough to find fucking cool people, over the years, that also stand up to these tests. And *those* are the folks that make it in the long run with us.

It all just circles around to things about fandom that have been on my mind lately.

This is what I expect from my friends (RL or OL) in the event that someone injures my feelings…which isn’t all that easy to do in the first place: I expect them to be willing to listen while I sort through my emotions …I expect them, I suppose, to make sympathetic noises at me…I expect them to feel free, if they’re so inclined, to point out how I’m making my life difficult by viewing things in a slanted or otherwise stupid way…and pretty much, the buck stops there. I actually prefer that people *not* be publicly supportive of my “side” of a problem, because I’m a grown-up, and I prefer to deal with the person that has hurt me one-on-one, and privately. The more people you get involved in a conflict, the more complicated the resolution of the conflict becomes.

snippety-snip )
thatotherperv: (bambi twitterpated (by eyesthatslay))
hi all :) I'm having a fabulous time at my sister's place, and I'm seriously getting stuff done as well. basically, I'm still not done with my master's project, which is something that has filled me with anxiety and a variety of other yucky emotions (we're at a year PAST the deadline...yes, really), and I sort of acknowledged that I fail at managing my own time right now and holding myself accountable...which is normally not a problem for me, but right now? huge. so that's basically the purpose of this trip. it's like...work / health camp :) we've set up a specific schedule of tasks, and my sister and brother-in-law both work from home, so it's been a really great environment for keeping me on task. I think it helps that we decided I should take a big step back from the project and sort of reevaluate back from the basics...I was getting more and more panicked over the fact that this thing wasn't done, I was looking for shortcuts, which were only more frustrating.

also, I'm filling my time not glued to the computer with all sorts of yummy, healthy things...helping them out on the "farm" (they grow their own vegetables) and yoga and taking nature walks...basically living well in a way that I haven't bothered to do in a while. and kittens. there are kittens! there are kittens on LEASHES! haha, which is something that must be experienced. basically they live in the woods, so the kittens are too young to be outside by themselves...thus, leash time. it is...THE cutest thing ever.

anyway, as a result, I seriously feel better about life than I have in recent memory. I think these two weeks are going to be very good in terms of putting me back on the track I want to be on. it helps that I love my sister and her husband dearly. their home always has good vibes.

anyway, all of this is to say that I won't be putting much time or energy into fandom in the upcoming weeks...I'll peek in in mornings and evenings for a few minutes, but mostly they've got me all sleepy and ready to drop by bedtime :)

but, I did need to pop on for some thank-yous and squeeing. [livejournal.com profile] lil_coyote has compiled Festival!verse as an ebook--both LIT and PDF formats, so go download if you wish :) and thank her, it looks great!

annnd some awards announcements )

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