thatotherperv: (jeff)
hi, strangers :)

so a long time ago, onelittlesleep wrote a fic called "They Say I'm a Bad Man, And They're Right" where Sam was born a girl, so Dean was raised alone on the road while they left Sam with Pastor Jim or something, and as a result, Dean grew up to be basically a sociopath. It was twisted as fuck, and thus, hit all my buttons - it appears it's no longer available anywhere on the internets.

If anyone is in possession of a copy of this fic that they wouldn't mind sharing with me for my personal enjoyment (*cough*), please see me after class

*shifty eyes*
thatotherperv: (skeleton blowjob)
sometimes I really, REALLY miss the days where I was new and shiny and had one fandom which happened to be large and still relatively stable (though waning) and everything was on lj, and all that put together meant lots of fandom friends that I talked to and formed fuzzy connections with. I miss *knowing* people, not just recognizing their usernames.

otoh, disconnect has the advantage of being insensate to fandom politics. I don't know who the bnf's are unless I'm hit over the head with a properly-labeled two-by-four, or who doesn't get along with who, or where the faction lines are, or...a million other things that were always tedious and pointless and dumb.

but still. sometimes when I'm wandering around a new fandom, I see a familiar username and am filled with glee because zomg I fangirled that person's writing so hard when I was a wee little fangirl, and it gives me nostalgia, because I don't really *experience* that anymore. and it's nice.
thatotherperv: (jeff)
so my family doesn't really do Thanksgiving, never has - every year it's just a glorious four-day weekend free of responsibility, where I get to feel kind of sorry for suckers who are obligated to do stuff with a family they don't like (not true for everyone). anyway

my point is, I didn't/don't/never do have that ritual "what are you thankful for" yearly thing. so the timing is kinda funny that a week later, I just got such a profound rush of gratitude and relief.

three or four years ago, I was recovering from major depression and unemployment, and part of that was that I had been chronically overdue on bills for some time, and debt collection calls were nothing new, but suddenly I wasn't numb to it. I had an income, but it wasn't enough to cover everyone that wanted a piece of me rightfuckingnow. I hated the sound of my phone ringing, and I was anxious all the time.

I got it under control, eventually. I've been on track to repair my credit for a few years now, and I don't have to do complicated math to cover my bills anymore (most of the time - Christmas season, on the heels of a root canal for me and dental surgery for Seeley, ugh - my financial security is somewhat based on "no three major problems at the same time" but that's better than Apocalypse Now, right?).

but it's funny how it comes rushing back to you.

earlier today I fielded this call on my business line from the Texas Attorney General's office, and they wanted to speak to payroll - as it turns out, in this small incestuous little business I work for, "payroll" is my brother-in-law who lives on the west coast and does not deign to rise from his bed until noon central, and isn't hooked up to our phone system. so he's not available. I take a message, and they tell me it's in regards to wage garnishment for one of our employees.

cue anxiety so strong it made me dizzy. irrational - I mean, I haven't lived in Texas for years, I don't have any outstanding bills there, I'm current on all my financial obligations, and I no longer ignore mail and phone calls because I just can't cope. but yeah, it took me a good hour to get past the terror of it me? did I forget something? is it still not over?

and now I just feel kind of limp with relief and gratitude that I'm not in that spot anymore. *clutches my little money cushion, thin though it may be*


Nov. 21st, 2013 06:34 pm
thatotherperv: (jeff)
it's funny because as underwhelmed as I've been with SHIELD, I'm inevitably starting to ship all the things to the point of giant team polyamorous snuggletude. like, I don't know that I'm dying for porn because no one on the cast particularly does it for me, but I have warm potentially shippy snoggy feelings about a handful of pairings and it's so strange because this is alongside me barely bothering to watch the show each week.
thatotherperv: (John Winchester)
yeah, after seeing some gifs of last night’s supernatural, I will not be watching it.

fuck you, spn writers, for your continual assassination of a character I love, and retconning of abuse into what was, in the early seasons, a fucked up but loving family dynamic.

seriously, fuck you.
thatotherperv: (telly time)
you know, I'm enjoying NBC's Dracula quite a bit - from the promos I saw before the pilot, I expected it to be terrible, but I look forward to new episodes quite a bit. it does take itself Very Seriously, but they've managed to ride the line that keeps that from being a bad thing? and somehow they've suckered me into investing in the primary will-they-won't-they, though I'm also digging the femmeslash.

it's probably tied with Blacklist for my favorite new show of the season, actually - that one seems to have struck some perfect blend of procedural and daddy issues. stir well and serve with garnish.

Hostages is kind of diverting, though I'm not in love with it. SHIELD is still kind of disappointing, though I'm still watching because sometimes they hit the mark, and I think I'm too invested in the franchise *not* to watch it. still enjoying Grimm, though I wish it hadn't gone full-on arc-based. I was enjoying having an episodic genre show back on television

Arrow...Stephen Amell. Good Lord. there are actually a lot of things I enjoy about that show, but I'm pretty sure I'd keep watching without any of them because the power of the pretty compels me. I don't think he's the *most* attractive man, or the most charismatic, or the most anything at all, but then you put him in front of me and I kind of temporarily forget his mediocrity. there's some kind of witchcraft going on there that I haven't figured out yet.

Elementary continues to be flawless in every way. that's all I have to say about that.
thatotherperv: (brothers)
so I've been vastly underwhelmed by spn ever since far as I'm concerned, the series ended with Swan Song and everything after that is to me sorta just...there? I've liked a few eps here or there but for the most part, I can't believe that it's still on (or that there are people that still enjoy it, or that it's still garnering new fans, though tumblr assures me that both those things are true - whut).

anyway, all that means I never watch an ep right away. I usually download it, then it sits on my hard drive til I'm bored or in a certain mood. I just got around to watching 9.01 tonight and I was kind of pleasantly surprised. it felt more spny and relevant to the original show than anything's been in ages (partly because it simply retread a lot of old ground, but whatev).

I remember people speculating a while ago about how we're just now approaching the timeline of The End and how what if the angels falling is looping back around to that the time, I thought "I'm just not sure they're that clever anymore" -

(I mean, I never particularly thought they were as clever as they wanted to be, but in a post-teen wolf world, it seems like early spn was comparatively the cleverest. it's funny how many of spn's plot holes and quirks and have retroactively become acceptable to me in comparison. I feel like teen wolf is the new low benchmark for me of all fandom life. lol, I'm such a bitter old hag.)

- where was I? oh, yes. I thought they weren't that clever anymore but then Ezekiel talking about possessing Sam and sorta soft-selling Dean into agreeing with it got my antennae up. and then I was thinking about how the angel in the parking garage couldn't read who "Ezekiel" was and so now I'm wondering HMMM, COULD IT BE LUCIFER? IS LUCIFER POSSESSING SAM RIGHT NOW ZOMG THE END HERE WE COME.

I would be super stoked if this is what were happening. swear to god, I could forgive them for seasons 6, 7 and 8.

btw, I adore Death. I couldn't stop cracking up when Dean arrived because Death totally understated aura of exasperation like, he's seen this episode before and it's been rerun approximately 1000x and dear god is he bored. <3
thatotherperv: (geek joy)
the frequency with which posts get hijacked by math or science or history or expertise of ANY kind makes my geek heart weep with joy. every time I see rhetorical or seemingly-silly questions resolved in a massive geek-gasm of advanced calculation or applied theory, I just.

oh god. joy. JOY in my nerdy little heart.
thatotherperv: (jeff)
some thoughts on the series finale of Dexter below the cut.

But first, SHIELD spoiler sorta )

Dexter finale )
thatotherperv: (whore)
so, as you may or may not be aware, I've been shipping the fuck out of Zach Quinto and Chris Pine lately. like, absurd. stupid, giddy feelings. I don't know if I'd ever use the word otp in this context, because there's a certain degree of *rolls on the ground* they beloooonggg together *weeping* that I don't think you can (reasonably) do with actual individuals. but. shipping the fuck out of them. watching interviews with little hearts popping out of my eyes. grinning goofily at gifsets on tumblr. just. full-on fangirl Feelings. even the name squishing that I normally abhor - pinto. isn't that cute?

somebody slap me.

and it's funny how this has brought to the forefront of my mind a lot of Things that I haven't thought about in years. navel-gazing of the most self-indulgent variety below the cut, as I try to suss out why I have squicky guilty feelings now that I haven't in the past )


Sep. 18th, 2013 02:21 pm
thatotherperv: (lol Jon Stewart)
so, I fixed the hinges like a boss. the catch was that I got working hinges on a very complex paperweight

so I have a new laptop now.....yay?
thatotherperv: (wtf)
so the hinges on my HP have gone fucked - this is technically a company machine so I had no say in what brand etc, and I'm not sure I would've gone with this one because the hinges are apparently a problem and the customer service is on the far-end of the fuck you scale.

so naturally, as is the way of things, just outside the warranty period, the hinges get hinky and it's edging towards affecting the screen connection (I had a fun wahhh moment when one of my cats knocked the screen good and the picture went in and out). I *think* the hinges are just loose and not broken, but this is a big question mark. after doing some research, it seems that in *most* laptop designs, you can just pop a few covers off and access the screws to tighten. because I have the worst kind of luck, with *my* laptop, you have to LITERALLY TAKE THE ENTIRE COMPUTER APART TO REACH THE HINGE SCREWS.

like, I'm not even kidding. I was watching the youtube video in horror. because here's the thing: if the hinges are truly wonky, I'm going to have to take it apart and put it back together twice. because the replacement hinges cost me $50. I'm not *buying* them until I tighten the screws and see if that resolves it - but I also have to work on the machine next week. right now, it's my only viable computer because the last one broke so hard I couldn't keep it around for backup.

at this point I'm just girding my loins to do the thing, haha. I kinda *have* to, but I'm skeerd. the only reason I have the courage to do this at all is that I have an alternate internet-receiving machine (an ipad) to clutch like a woobie during the time period my laptop's guts are strewn all over my apartment.

hold me.


Aug. 22nd, 2013 09:54 pm
thatotherperv: (suits hello hello)
I haven't posted since mid-July? really? I guess I felt like I was all up on lj because of writing small novels on someone's Suits reaction posts *cough*

in other news, writer's block. WHY. for anyone waiting for chapter 12 of Owned, it's now 7000 words long and the penis is finally in the asshole, amen. I'm not sure it's EVER taken me 50,000 words to get the penis in the asshole, it's a new record. it's even been thrusting for a while (actually, in real time, it's been thrusting for a month - Mike must be chafed). I've been working on this chapter so long that it's reached the point where it's all just body parts and funny noises and I'm squinting at my laptop like...why is sex.

I've noticed that basically every time we roll out a new project at work, my creative energy plummets because it's all sucked towards juggling my boss's insane (insane. and also - SQUIRREL!) optimism know...real world constraints like "hours in the day" and "maintaining the business we already have." I kind of saw it coming this time. as he was talking and enthusing, there was a little voice in my head saying 'noooooo, we can't do the thing, because my porn will suffer and that will be saaaaad.' so yeah.

sorry your porn is 2 months overdue. it's my boss's fault - bah, wanting to grow the business and be financially successful. humbug.
thatotherperv: (suits title)
I guess I havne't posted about this on lj yet but I’ve been playing around with a suits wiki that’s actually up to date, readable, not covered in ads, and (this is my primary motivation) is geared/structured as a resource for fic writers. I’ve actually got some content but at the moment it’s all locked up because the space is being generously lended to me by [ profile] christycorr.

Since the goal is to have a substantial amount of content before it goes live (and I’d like it to go live before 2050), I’m going to start soliciting help.

At this point, I’m looking for someone to help with episode breakdowns - the structure for those is pretty much fully developed, whereas everything else is a work in progress.

Your assistance can involve anything from full on geekery of breaking down the events of the episode to filling in factoids like the popular quotes and soundtrack.

if you’re interested in helping out with the episode post development, drop me a line - you can also let me know if you’re interested in helping in some other capacity but depending on what it is, the wiki may not be ready for that yet
thatotherperv: (happy face Angel)
I know I have friends who enjoy the teen wolf fandom, and ship the ship that I'm currently refusing to name.

so I just wanted to let you know that if you ever see my vitriol on tumblr and it makes you feel bad, just remember: I like you. and if (when) I firebomb that entire fandom to the ground, I'll smuggle you out first. gently. there will be cookies.

but absolutely no Kool-aid.
thatotherperv: (jeff)
so I know everyone ended up hating Heroes apparently, but I started watching it out of summer boredom and the only reason I got past the first episode was that I'm kind of in love with Nathan Petrelli. for proper watching, I'm halfway through s2, but I skipped through and watched all the Nathan scenes through half of s3 early on and just.

I'm in love with the *character* - I'm not sure I like him as a human being but jfc, I've never seen a character on tv with his vulnerable side played so close to the vest. I mean yeah, his meltdown when he thinks Peter is dead is pretty obvious but other than that, he's Schrodinger's Sociopath and I just fucking love it. I change my mind from one minute to the next about what his motivations are and I just want to pick him apart and dissect his brain and understand wtf is going on in there.

I also kind of want to make him fuck Claire. I also kind of want to put him in the Owned!verse and have Harvey "give Mike away" to him and Mike to be all freaked out and excited that he's blowing a Senator. lol. it seems like he and Harvey should know each other, anyway.

I'm kind of bummed that I'm several years too late for the actual fandom - I'm indifferent to most of the show, but it would have been convenient to discover this Thing for Nathan when there were other people to flap at.

(ps, fic recs welcome)
thatotherperv: (it mocks me)
k, so I'm gonna call it right now that the next chapter of Owned is not getting posted this weekend as promised...which blows because it's been a month, and I enjoy posting and getting feedback about as much as some of yall seem to enjoy getting the next chapter so....pthththt.

but yeah, I've been working ~3x a week for the entire month AND I'M STILL WRITING CHAPTER 12. fucking shoot me now, I don't even know how that's possible. I think part of the reason I got so far ahead of myself compared to Needs Must is that the chapters in Owned are twice as long on average, and it's way more porn, which is always slower than dialogue.

otoh, the chapters are twice as long and it's mostly porn, so I don't feel that guilty :P

anyway, I'll post as soon as it's done and polished into something worth posting, because the plottier bits currently suck balls. rest assured I'm working on it :)
thatotherperv: (suits title)
I don't suppose there's anyone out there with the technical knowledge to help me set up a gorgeous Suits wiki without ads where I can get my painfully detailed geek on in an environment that doesn't make my eyes bleed?

*weeps* I don't want to learn hard technical stuff, I just want to be an ocd fan
thatotherperv: (jeff)
Chapter 11 of Owned was reposted with revisions on 1/29/2015 - I'm posting the original vversion here in case someone prefers the version with more aftercare

behind the cut )


thatotherperv: (Default)

August 2014



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