Well, then. Phew. I LOVE the pacing in this. There's a lot of push pull in the writing/language that mirrors the ebb and flow between the characters very well. You have quite the way with words. This one rings a different tone than the last - more plot driven IMO, but also more Jeff revealing (which is odd, considering the Jensen POV). My favourite line?"I think you're gonna have to lay actual words on me, kiddo." which I think reveals so much about the power/motivation dynamics bubbling along under the surface of all the HOT. For what it's worth, I think you have got this 2nd person voice down really well. (Sheesh, is that sentence even grammatically correct?)
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I LOVE the pacing in this. There's a lot of push pull in the writing/language that mirrors the ebb and flow between the characters very well. You have quite the way with words.
This one rings a different tone than the last - more plot driven IMO, but also more Jeff revealing (which is odd, considering the Jensen POV). My favourite line?"I think you're gonna have to lay actual words on me, kiddo." which I think reveals so much about the power/motivation dynamics bubbling along under the surface of all the HOT.
For what it's worth, I think you have got this 2nd person voice down really well. (Sheesh, is that sentence even grammatically correct?)
(oh. and cum in the eye FTW!)