Canon vs. Science: the real deal on vampire anatomy and physiology

[thatotherperv]

sorry for the spammage today people! today was my day for the buffyversemeta Metathon. I was a little weasel and took my own topic, thereby prompting me to FINALLY start on this meta series I've been meaning to tackle for a while.

there were supposed to be 2.5 essays but it's probably for the best that there's only 1.5...you know, no one wants to hear me blather on *that* long. I had another one written on vampire nutrition, but it's a little...not layperson friendly right now and it needs to be reworked. so uh...that'll be up...whenever I have time to do that. some day.

Title: Canon vs. Science: the real deal on vampire anatomy and physiology
Author: Mel (thatotherperv)
Summary: the beginning of a meta series I’ve been planning…1.5 essays for the purpose of the Metathon. Why science must be a consideration in the practicalities of vampirism (intro to the eventual series). And the real essay: How a feline model can be used to understand some vampire physiology.
Spoilers: let’s say whole series, just to be safe.
Word count: “It’s just magic” is 807 words, “Vampires as Cats” is 3200.

Notes: For those who don’t know me, a little on my background: My career goal is to be a zoo vet. My bachelor’s is in zoology, sort of split emphasis between ecology and pre-veterinary curriculum. I had a sociology minor in college and I have a Master’s in public policy related to wildlife, which is sort of irrelevant for this, but you know…basically, I’m not a total science egghead. I’ve already begun my DVM, though I’m still early in the curriculum. I often see the world through the prism of the life sciences…including canon.



The concepts laid out in the first essay function as assumptions for the rest of the essays in the (eventual) series, so it’s probably good to read that first.

“It’s just…magic!”: why magic alone is bunk when it comes to explaining Buffyverse vampirism—the practical workings of Buffyverse vampirism (why they can do what they do) cannot be explained by magic alone. And I’ll tell you why…it’s canon. (Bet you didn’t see that coming, huh?). A sort of introductory blurb to the series.

Vampires as Cats: it’s not just fanon, it’s good science—Why can Buffyverse vampires roar and snarl? Is it possible that they purr? Why do they have better night-vision in vamp-face? How is it they can smell human emotion? The answer to all of the above: Buffy actually liked a little cat in her man. A look at the anatomical/physiological specifics of the cat-like qualities of Buffyverse vampires.



Other topics I want to tackle eventually:
*vampire nutrition…how does a human digestive tract convert blood to energy? What are vampires using in the blood? Why must this ingestion of blood result from a physiological need, rather than just a mystical one? This essay is already written, but it needs to be re-written to make more sense for laypeople, so I’m withholding it for now.
*the biological nature of turning…viral infection or parasitism or…something else? Obviously the trick itself is mystical, but what’s the biological pattern?
*the significance of breathing for a vampire’s body. Vampires seem to pant instinctively under certain circumstances, which implies to me a physiological need for oxygen at certain times.

Comments

[angelstoy.livejournal.com]

I always feel so smart (by association)and well informed when I read your meta, you are truly an amazing writer with amazing thoughts and ideas!

[thatotherperv.livejournal.com]

hee, thank you!

[sevendeadlyfun.livejournal.com]

Gah! I loved these and I was hoping you'd do the other topics. Especially because I have a vampire physiology question and no one else writes about it...Ah well. I'll just make it up as I go along with these two to help me a bit! Thanks so much for writing these!

[thatotherperv.livejournal.com]

oh thank you! I probably will, at some point, I just don't know when, now that I'm back in school. but I'm glad you enjoyed geeking out with me! :)

Vampirism Physiology

[punkrockpearl.livejournal.com]

I'm actually trying to write a vampire novel...I'm sure you've got an idea of how hard that's going to be for me to tackle, especially since nobody wants to do a comprehensive guide on a creature so ancient and so mysterious. All we've got is a bunch of fiction writers that don't care about the physiology as long as their vampire versions drink blood and are cool(okay, so some say that their skin sparkles but they don't say why, some explain that because they are undead but not zombies they don't have a smell, some say that their fangs are much like the bat and they have to suck or that they're much like the mosquito or butterfly and it's a hollow tube that blood just flows into). BLOODY HELL (pun definitely intended), some people just write idiotic, implausible tripe! Please convey your scientific theories to me if you ever decide to spend time researching vampires.