thatotherperv

man. ok, so if you have a cat that's not inclined to play with anything anymore? try this puppy.

my sister got it for us last year at Christmas, and it STILL holds the power to mesmerize my cats like nothing else. they carry it at most pet stores, and it seems ridiculous to pay $5 for a strip of metal and some rolled up cardboard, but srsly, it's a miracle worker.

it makes my *FAT LITTLE MAN* get up off his ass and act like a kitten. I mean, they're only 2, but he's *never* been inclined to play that way. generally, if he can lay on his back and bat at something from recumbency, that's an active day in his book. but even Irving, who's gotten a little desensitized to most other toys, reverts to crazy acrobatic feats of Tigger-like proportions.

I've never really found a way to anchor it to an inanimate object, which is the only shame, because all I have to do is hold it, and it would be awesome if they could self-serve. but the thing moves in apparently fascinating ways all on its own, I barely have to jiggle it. I think it's the unpredictability and bug-like jerkiness.

whoever designed this thing was a fucking genius.

I have to take the little men to the vet this morning. reigning opinion is that I Suck.

on the upside, I think that I have studied kitten psychology well enough to become an evil mastermind. because over time, the little buggers have become impossible to cage up. last time it took 4 hours to catch Irving because he cottoned so damn quick up what was going on. the magic formula seems to indeed be Shock and Awe. I upended the carriers in the closet 2 days ago, then snatched Irving up about 2 seconds after my eyes popped open this morning. he becomes completely paralyzed when you scruff him, the way they tell you cats will do that they never *actually* do, so the only trick is to get him scruffed before he knows what's coming. he can't even try to starfish his way out of being lowered in.

then I wander downstairs like nothing is wrong (pay no attention to the yowling man behind the curtain), wait til Seeley follows me far enough from the noise to approach, and scoop him up too. he doesn't really fight me on anything once it looks inevitable, but Irving's patheticness will spook him in close range.

I've had a growing suspicion that they had a respiratory infection for about a week now, and then I'm leaving for San Francisco for 10 days (mother's day / birthday present for my mom). so the plan is basically to get them diagnosed and then leave them there while I'm gone.

on the upside, they'll be magically well again when I reaquire them.

on the downside, I'm pretty sure Irving is going to believe in his heart of hearts that I'm abandoning him forever. I've never had to board them before, and this is pretty much his worst fear manifested. I already get ginormous Don't Leave Me eyes every time they've gotta go in their carriers.

*sighs*

sometimes I'm glad I live alone. ie, when I realized just now that my habit of endowing my cats with spontaneous and ludicrous pet names has spiraled out of control.

any compounding of the words "pumpkin," "pookie," "woobie," "bear," "butt," or "face" has become...almost standard. it started as a joke with myself to mock them when they played the I'm starving and adorable or I'm adorable don't leeeaaavee meeeee cards, and then it just kind of. grew out of control. while I wasn't looking.

think they make a support group for that? I'm so ashamed.

then again, look at that icon. I defy anyone to tell me he's NOT my little pookie-ookie-butt-face. *cackles*

ETA: god, it's possible I've lost my ever-loving mind. I just sat here muttering "pookie-ookie-butt-face" and cracking up until Irving gave me a dirty look and jumped off the couch. his dignity. it's mightily wounded.

although, it's really not my fault. dude, I would like to propose that the 3rd gen ipod nano is a little too nano. mine was missing for 3 months. I looked *everywhere* but honestly, I regularly misplace this thing in my purse, which is only big enough to hold my phone and money. it's the size of a credit card and barely thicker. I miss my old ipod because it was hard to lose...it was one of the early early models back when the touch-buttons were separate from the wheel and it was huge. plus it was 30 gigs. but one day it woke up and couldn't locate its hard drive, which was possibly related to a certain level of carelessness on my part. oops. anyway, the nano was a gift to my sister through work somehow and she didn't need it, so she gave it to me.

it was all new and shiny, straight out of the box, but now it looks like it's been in a war-torn country, because it was stuffed under the seat of my car for three months, buried under detritus. I finally conducted an intensive search of my car this morning and it took me 30 minutes to find it...to be fair, that's a measure of how dirty my car was, as much as anything

*facepalm*

at least it still works, go team. driving in rural texas without it is hell, and the local radio stations were starting to make me a little batty.

in other, related news, I picked my favorite blouse off the floor to pack it for this weekend and apparently, Seeley has rubbed his stinky butt all over it. no actual poo, thank *christ*, but it has the distinct eau de seeley's ass. Irving was all distressed, trying to cover it up with air, haha. poor thing. WHY IS MY CAT SUCH A SLOB. and shut up, he doesn't get it from me. *squints at meretrix* I heard that. He appears to be laying low at the moment, which is probably best for his health.

sometimes, when I watch my cats wrestle and play, I wonder what the voices in their heads are saying that make them switch so rapidly between pouncing, biting and grooming. cuz you know, one minute they're gnawing on one another and the next minute their licking a different spot clean. and then there's a sneak attack, in response to no cue that *I* can discern.

it's a mystery.

in other cat-related news, the boys still play together a lot, but I never catch them snuggling to nap anymore. :( is this the end of their love? I might be cockblocking...Irving seems to enjoy the majority of his snuggly naptime with *me*, these days.

so last week there was a fly in the house. Irving, master of all prey that is aerial, wigged out with joy. he watched it forever, and then there was one strategically calculated leap and he smacked it with his paw and it fell down dead. then, like a good little pest-control device, he ate it.

so I've seen 3 medium-sized roaches in my apartment in the last 24 hours (and yes, there's a WHOLE other topic of conversation, which will probably make me flail and cuss out my building management a little). Irving killed one of them, I squished the other.

Seeley was nosing around at something. I was all, watcha got? turned out he got a cockroach. so I'm all, kill it, seeley. and he looks up at me with this...blatant look of disbelief. at this point the cockroach *runs across Seeley's foot*.

Seeley yanks his paw away and watches it run off, bewildered.

*facepalm*

I don't know what I expect from him. dude can't even wash his own ass.

so I'd pretty much given up on the idea that seeley's ass would ever be clean.

then last week, Irving started licking it for him. bwahahahaha. I don't know whyyyyyyy it took so long, but our friend is finally picking up the slack. the first few times I witnessed the Special Personal Grooming, Seeley was very ungrateful. he kicked Irving in the face and ran away.

Then Irving started sneaking up to do it when Seeley was asleep. Seeley would twitch like he was kicking and once he woke up, he'd *actually* kick at him, and then run away.

now, he just glares. He lays on his back while Irving licks his ass clean, and he glares death-rays at him till he's done. mwahahahahaha.

upon seeing Iron Man...damn dude, best action flick I've seen in years, and I'm *so* not a comic girl. but it's been a while since something gave me that zing of movie magic walking out of the theater. also, I wanted to hump Robert Downey Jr's leg. like, really really. never have I wanted to hump his leg so badly, and that's saying something.

superheroes who kill things with their brains are SEXY.

on another note, my parents are smart people, but sometimes I couldn't tell it. I brought the cats with me and they've stayed shut up in my room, but I guess before I left for the afternoon wedding I didn't shut the door all the way. so my dad's in his office down the hall from my room, and Seeley comes sniffing out into the hallway (while Irving remains huddled under the bed, natch). my dad sees the cat poke his head into the office. he thinks said cat is adorable. said cat is hurting no one. what does my dad do? he shrieks for my mother that the cat escaped from my room.

and then was for some reason shocked when Seeley hauled ass back into my room to huddle under the bed with his ~~lover~~ brother.

*bangs.head.on.desk*

....at least, I thought he did. I'm sitting here and right behind my head, where they're sleeping, I hear that low soft sort of warning woof that dogs make when they see something out the window. you know, not seriously aggressive but a little heads-up like "rrrrrrrrroohf. rroohf." from the diaphragm.

and I'm all. *blinkblink*

*turns*

Irving's sound asleep and Seeley's hugging Irving's face, wide awake and staring back at me.

so...did Seeley just bark? like a dog?

Seriously. I think I'm losing my damn mind.

so, my affectionate nickname for Seeley since I got him has been Stinky.

when I got him, he was like a little Pigpen. He had a cloud of stench that sort of...followed him everywhere he went. his butt smelled *and* he had bad breath, so he got you coming and going. we switched food and pretty soon, it was only when he was waving his rear end in my face that I got the Eau de Seeley.

I checked several times but his butt was never *dirty*, that I could see. and he washed back there. I have been *stumped*.

I am stumped no more, folks. I was sitting here on the couch and he's lounging on the carpet sort of perpendicular to me and I see that the lower part of his rear legs...the equivalent of the bottom of our feet....is this nasty *yellowishbrown* color. he has white socks on all his feet.

yeah. my little stinker grooms himself, gets to the back of his legs and is like....meh. I'm done.

I called my sister. she laughed at me. I'm like, HE'S BEEN WALKING ALL OVER EVERYTHING WITH HIS POOPY LITTLE CATFEET. though actually I think he grooms his feet, just not the fur up to his tarsus.

now I have to teach my cat how to properly groom himself. *glares*

*busts out a washcloth*

ok, so the BiL put the first have of Dexter s1 on my machine and ZOMG I LOVE IT. I've been waiting to see it for a while because I loved the concept, and it exceeded expectation. squee!

my little fannish brain keeps scrambling to slash him with someone. and especially with Rita*cough*Darla right there, that someone seems to be Angel. and Angel is doing a remarkable job, I must say, considering how asexual Dexter is. I'm thinking I can't be the only one. any good Dex/btvs crossovers out there? *holds out bowl for more*

so we tried a little something I'd like to call "bringing the kittens to visit my sister and romp with hers" which turned more into "watching my little guys tremble and cram themselves into tight nooks and crannies." I actually brought them home early today because they were breakin my fucking heart. and of course, now that we're home they're acting like nothing was ever wrong. *pats them*

really. he's....experiencing some cantankerousness, for sure. all morning he's been restless and wandering around grouching, and it seemed like he just wanted some love but he won't sit still for more than 3 seconds. it's even funnier because his little voice always sounds like he's a 65yo smoker and lends itself well to the illusion of crankiness even when he's not.

Seeley, on the other hand, is sprawled belly-up making love to the SuperScratcher. he's far more easily pleased.

....now Seeley has decided that the way to fix his brother's problem is to pounce, mount, chew and generally be a pain in the ass. Irving begs to differ.

aw, my boys are making such fabulous PROGRESS. last night I got both of them to snuggle in bed with me, which took some doing. and well, seeley doesn't *snuggle*. he demands love, or more accurately, repeatedly marks me as his by rubbing the scent glands at the corners of his mouth on my hands. seriously, it's not like I'm petting him, haha. he's definitely dominant kitty, sometimes he body blocks irving from accessing me. Irving cuddled though, after orbiting my body for an hour (no joke), walking in circles and purring. eventually he laid down on my chest and napped

<3

other lessons we're making progress on: Come When I Call, No LoveBiting Because My Skin Is Fragile, Don't Run When Mommy's Coming, The Stairs Are Not Evil, and The Living Room Isn't Scary.

:)

ok, so, I've been worrying like a new mom, haha. I'm ridiculous.

it's just that Irving hadn't come out of the closet (*SNERK*) at all in going on 72 hours, and neither one of them has taken anything to eat or drink, that I can tell. food and water levels are the same, even though I know Seeley comes out at night and while I'm in school (makeup in the toilet...thanks, dude. *closes lid*).

last night I had an honest-to-god *nightmare* that I pulled Irving out a few days from now and his ribs were starting to show (bc he's already on the slender side) and when I did the pinch-test, he was severely dehydrated. *headdesk*

so the thing that woke me up this morning before my alarm was a plaintive Irving!meow. I've never heard Seeley vocalize, but Irving is all tiny and reedy, so I knew it was him. and I knew he wasn't calling for me, he was calling for Seeley. because I'm still the Thing To Not Be Trusted. evil kidnapper woman :) he's probably calling Seeley back to the hidey-hole.

I look in the closet. nobody's home. hrm. I'm eminently pleased that they've both ventured out. mayyybe a little food is gone, water's still the same. I peek around the corner and Seeley's on the top stair, peering at me all stealthy like _OO_ so once again, the question becomes, wtf is irving? I use the toilet, I pop in my contacts, I go downstairs (stupidly proud that Seeley didn't run away as I passed him) and poke around, no Irving. pour my cereal, check the bedroom, check the closet again, no Irving. check the bathroom again....curled as small as he can get behind the toilet...Irving. when I look at him and talk to him, his gaze remains stubbornly on the wall, and it's so LALALA YOU CAN'T SEE ME that it made me laugh.

and I realize that once again, I probably scared the crap out of him when I flushed. these kids have to learn that that's a bad hiding place, haha. but he hadn't run back to his hole while I was downstairs so...progress? maybe?

wow, I have it bad for these cats, yall.

someone has clearly found a very clever hiding place during the night.

yeah, they're pretty freaked. Irving moreso than Seeley, who has been a brave little man, all told. Seeley might be more reserved, but he keeps his head under fire, haha. the whole way home, irving was trembling and crying (broke my fucking heart!) and Seeley was just lookin at him like...dude. quit being such a drama queen.

the cute thing is that when I let them out, Irving squeezed himself between a suitcase and the wall while Seeley went to explore. I came back to check on them an hour later, and Seeley was behind the suitcase. I was all, where the hell is Irving? then all of a sudden, I see a little orange and white face peeking out from under my fat black kitty. Seeley had literally sprawled out full on top of him and Irving's so much smaller he wasn't even visible.

Seeley was bodily shielding his comrade from danger. Is he aptly named, or what? :D

so. I adopted two cats tonight. hahaha. *facepalm*

seriously, I'm pretty sure they were destined to be mine. meet Irving and Seeley.

here's the funny thing. yes, he's named after Booth. no, I didn't name him. I'm gonna keep their original names, because they amuse me, both. the woman who fostered them was a fan of Bones (and Buffy!) and she named Seeley's litter after all the characters. there was a hodgins too, haha. he wasn't socialized enough to adopt out. still too paranoid. *SNICKER*

they're both around 9 months old. Irving is all legs and ears, and he's pretty darn outgoing, especially considering his origins. we played until he tuckered himself out and fell asleep. Seeley is kind of a couch potato kind of cat. he played for a few minutes and then laid down and watched like it was a spectator sport, haha. I'm gonna have to watch to make sure he doesn't get fat.

I talked with their foster mom for like 2 hours, so I feel like I know a lot about them already. officially they're mine but I needed to get all the paraphernalia so I'm picking them up tomorrow.

ps, can someone make that middle picture of Irving into an icon for me, by any chance? he just looks so endearingly awkward, I'd like to have an icon of it :)

ETA: thanks