thatotherperv | Hostage, part 26

banner by the fantastic and talented

vamptastica

Title: Hostage
Author: Mel (

thatotherperv)
Pairing: Angelus/Dawn/evil!Spike
Rating: NC-17
Summary: When Angelus and Spike come to Sunnydale to kill the slayer, they find more interesting prey.
Warnings: um, lots. not all of which I'm willing to specify. for starters, these guys are evil and soulless, and will behave as such the whole way through. even after they're soft on Dawn, they do some pretty unconscionable things to her. elements of non-con. Daddykink. and Dawn is 17, so where I live that's legal but *shrugs*. very politically incorrect in places, but if it comforts you, it's more of a demon/human thing than a male/female thing ;)
Disclaimer: not mine, but ain't they pretty?

A/N: how is this fic AU? Angelus never got a soul, so the boys were never separated. Darla and Dru wandered off at some point, possibly in 1894 when the Immortal was such a hot stud ;) Dawn is only 3 years younger than Buffy, so she's 17 in this fic.

previous parts are here

Part 26

Buffy knew that her sister had been through a horrible ordeal. They’d all had a rough year, but none of them rougher than Dawn. Finding out that her life was a lie would have been bad enough, but she had been taken by those…things.

Buffy hurt for her. She could only imagine what she’d gone through, and the answers that her brain supplied were…. She cringed every time Dawn made an uncharacteristic crude joke, because it only confirmed her suspicions.

But most of the time, she was like a ghost. No bratty back-talking, no clothes-stealing, no tagging along, no Dawn. She just drifted through the house, silent and empty-eyed, and it made Buffy’s skin crawl, and she didn’t know how to fix it. Sometimes she found her out on the lawn, just…waiting. Tempting fate.

Already thin from the ordeal, Dawn did little more than pick at her food, and before long, she was skinny enough that Buffy felt the need to bring up words like ‘anorexia.’ And ‘coping mechanism.’

Dawn said nothing, but she started eating again. She started going out with friends, making jokes, acting normal, but Buffy got the feeling things were far from okay. It was a thinly-veiled act.

After fighting so hard to save Dawn from Glory, she felt utterly and completely helpless to save her from this.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Growing up, girls’ movie night in was a Summers institution. Buffy or Dawn picked the movies, their mom made popcorn, and they’d curl up under the blankets on the couch and settle in for the show.

Buffy had always been the one who loved the old black and white romances and bawled at bittersweet endings. Dawn usually made fun of them and picked a slapstick comedy when it was her turn. It was a tradition that fell by the wayside as the girls got older—especially when Dawn hit her teen years, and Buffy started college.

But things were different now. They’d spent weeks staying in, keeping close.

Both girls stayed up long after their mother had retired for the night. Dawn was often still in the living room when Buffy came back from a short patrol. She stayed up all night, slept half the day. Joyce fretted that it was unhealthy, but Buffy deflected the concern. It was summer, after all. Kids will be kids, and…yadda yadda.

And yeah, okay, they did still fuss over Dawn more than normal, but that was just what she needed, right? She was still their little girl. And in the early hours of the morning, when Dawn was too sleepy to protest being touched, Buffy cradled her head in her lap, fingers combing through silky-soft hair. She could imagine that they were still young, when looking both ways before crossing the street was the biggest concern for their safety. Before she was called….

Dawn tolerated all their affection with a glazed sort of apathy. Sometimes, when Buffy looked into her eyes, she could believe that Dawn was ancient.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

So when Dawn finally burst into sudden tears one night, Buffy felt a huge wash of relief, even as her heart squeezed in sympathy.

The hero and the heroine were reuniting to strains of sweeping violins, but she clicked off the television before gathering Dawn in.

Her body was still eerily frail, even though she’d put on weight. She shook so hard as she cried that Buffy felt as though she might come apart altogether.

Her fingers combed through Dawn’s hair, trying to soothe. Long after the worst had passed, Buffy still held her cradled against her chest, and Dawn, for once, didn’t try to pull away.

She snuffled, voice hoarse with tears. “How do you…. When someone does something so horrible, how is it possible to still love them.”

Buffy’s heart ached…worse when Dawn’s voice cracked with tears. She swallowed platitudes that hadn’t worked in the past. They made Dawn sarcastic and edgy.

“You just do.”

“Why?” The question was painfully small.

“You just….” She sighed, suddenly very tired. “You just do. You see past it, and you know that they’re still the same person that you loved before, and—” Frustrated, she dropped the pretense. “Dawnie, there’s nothing you could ever do that would make me love you less. Nothing.”

“Really?”

“Really.” A beat. “Except if you spilled nailpolish remover all over that leather skirt. Then I’d have to kill you.”

It was good to hear Dawn laugh. But when she pulled back, she still looked too serious.

“I love them.”

Buffy felt her hackles rise. Misdirection was the key to this particular discussion. Bait and switch—a handy alternative to rage. “You know, I thought you’ve always been far too fond of acetone, but if you want my leather skirt, you’ll have to take it over my dead—”

“Buffy.”

“No. You don’t love them. You can’t love them, there’s nothing to love. They’re evil. Vampires can’t love, Dawn. You know this.”

“They loved me.”

“They kidnapped you. They hurt you. For God’s sake, wake up, Dawn. When I found you, you were wearing a collar, and your wrists were raw because they kept you tied up. You’d been crying, and that thing was holding you down….”

“That was…. It’s not how it looked. And it wasn’t like that the whole time. Well, the collar, but not the…. I know how it sounds but I swear, they were good to me—”

“They raped you.”

Dawn’s eyes ticked away, and for a long time, they were quiet. Dawn said nothing, and Buffy’s stomach churned.

“It wasn’t your fault. None of it was your fault. But you should admit—”

“I liked it.”

The words were so quiet, but unmistakable. “Don’t say that.”

“I did.”

“You…learned to tolerate it. And maybe even—”

“They didn’t rape me. I fucked them. They fucked me. We fucked. And I liked it. It wasn’t rape.”

Buffy stared. Dawn stared back, eerily unflinching. Old, old eyes. “Dawn, no.”

“I got really good at blowing them. Sometimes they hurt me, but I liked it. They liked to fuck me at the same time. One of them in my mouth, the other taking me from behind. One in my ass, the other in my cunt. I loved it. I used to beg them to—”

“Dawn. Stop it.”

The silence was deafening, and Buffy’s grip on Dawn’s upper arm was too tight. She jerked away, and Buffy pulled her hand back as though burned. Dawn’s face was hard, determined, and then she blinked and her eyes were wetter. She looked away and swiped at her nose.

“Now do you love me?”

There was nothing that Buffy could say.

Dawn ran up the stairs. The door slammed behind her.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Buffy didn’t knock. Dawn was curled up on her bed, and for a moment, Buffy saw it. The heartbreak.

She recognized the look. She’d seen it on her own face, when Riley left. Still felt hollow inside when she woke up alone.

The bed dipped when she sat on the edge, but Dawn didn’t look at her.

“You missed breakfast.”

Blue eyes were red-rimmed. Nobody could give the silent treatment like Dawn.

“Dawn, I’m sorry I didn’t…. Look, of course I still love you. I was just…you’re my little sister.”

She half-expected an eyeroll. A protest at being called little. And then Buffy would make a crack about the Jolly Green Giant, and….

That’s not how things were. When had Dawn grown up?

“Then admit that they loved me.”

“You know I can’t do that.”

Dawn sighed and rolled onto her back. The silence was so thick that Buffy was about to get up and walk out.

“They liked to hear me laugh.”

God, Dawn. Did she really think that changed what they were? That it made it alright?

“Spike used to say, ‘It’s sweet to hear you giggle, kitten,’ and he’d tickle me, and Angelus would get this little smile, like…like he liked to see me happy. Even though he pretended it didn’t matter, because…you know, big bad reputation. But his eyes were softer when he looked at me, you know? Like…warm, somehow. I know it sounds stupid, because he’s a killer, but. Like, he was always really careful when he touched me, and it was like his eyes had to be careful, too.”

Buffy’s throat constricted on her protest. Someone had looked at her that way, once. And she’d blown it. But when she tried to reconcile it with the killers she’d met, she just couldn’t. She couldn’t fathom it.

Dawn sniffled, and wiped her eyes. “They always made sure the house was warm enough. Sometimes they’d even pick me up and carry me into the kitchen so the tile wouldn’t be cold on my feet.” She took a deep breath, the air shuddering back out of her lungs. Buffy reached out, but didn’t touch her. “I wanted them. Not at first, because…evil, but they never…. And ok, they could be all, me vampire, you girl, but sometimes it was kind of sweet, and I realize how deranged that sounds but. They took care of me.

“I think they killed Ben.”

Buffy debated speaking in the silence that followed. When she finally did, her voice was low. “I know. I know. But Dawn, they didn’t do it out of some…. They just wanted you to themsel—”

“They wanted to kill you.”

Buffy’s head snapped up. Dawn knew. She knew?

“That’s why they came to Sunnydale. They kill slayers, and you were next. I know you probably know this already. I’m just telling you, because the only reason…. I asked them not to. Begged them not to, for me. And they didn’t. I told them if they killed you, I could never—”

Her heart tore in two when Dawn began to cry again. “I miss them. I know I shouldn’t, but I can’t stop. It hurts. It hurts every day. They’re angry with me because I turned my back on them to protect you, and I’m glad you’re safe but…. Do you hate me because I wish they’d taken me with them? I miss them. I miss them. I—”

Buffy slipped into the bed and Dawn clung. Buffy let her cry.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

They didn’t speak much in the following days. There was nothing to say, really. Buffy wouldn’t know where to start. It flew in the face of everything she’d ever been taught.

They weren’t just vampires, they were infamous vampires. Like Al Capone with fangs. Or maybe it would be more like Bundy or that other guy…or, oh! oh! Dahmer. What with the eating and the….

Whatever. Dawn believed it, so she couldn’t just blow the whole thing off, much as she wanted to. It would have been easier if Dawn seemed crazy when she talked about them. Instead, she just seemed broken inside.

It was all too real.

Dawn’s birthday was a big to-do. Well, sort of big. As big as Dawn would let them do it. Friends and cake…balloons…goofy dancing. Stupid hats. Dawn seemed to enjoy herself, at least. She was laughing a little easier, smiling a little faster.

Buffy thought it just meant she was coming back to herself. She was wrong.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

She awoke to noise in the house at 4am. Demon, burglar, stalker…sister.

Dawn was halfway out the door, backpack slung over her shoulder.

Buffy froze on the stairs, and they stared at each other for a long, silent moment.

“You can’t stop me from going.”

It held none of the bratty teenage defiance she’d expected from Dawn for so long. She looked older. Eighteen and four hours, but she looked older.

“No,” she said calmly, “But I can introduce your boyfriends to the wrong end of a stake.”

Even she didn’t believe it.

“I’d never forgive you.”

The gorge rose in Buffy’s throat. She wanted to say, ‘I don’t care if you forgive me, as long as you’re safe.’ She wanted to say, ‘You’re too young to be in love. You don’t know what that means.’ She wanted to say a lot of things. None of them felt very true.

“I love you. Tell mom….” Trick of the light, she looked young again. “Buffy, don’t follow me. I don’t want to have to choose.”

She was through the door when she paused, but she didn’t look back. “I’ll call.”

The door clicked shut softly. And she was gone.

-End-

Epilogue forthcoming, obviously. it forthcame here

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

angelstoy.livejournal.com

oh wow!!!!!!!!!!! That was spectacular, sad, but spectacular!!!!!!!

From:

Hostage, part 26

Page Summary

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags