thatotherperv

so, the internet is out at my apartment. since yesterday. this is why I'm at a coffee shop, when I should be home in my pj's, surfing the internet and reading porn and watching tv on my day off. *pouty face* instead, I'm sitting in public, surfing the internet and thinking about reading porn...and what do you know, I'm in my pajamas, because my pjs are scrubs, and in a medical center, it's perfectly acceptable to wear those out. haha. ok, so maybe my plans for the day weren't ruined so much as given a change of venue.

whatever. I have a caffeine buzz. which means later today, I might have heart palpitations. wheee!

annnnnd I've been giving an odd amount of thought to snuggling. so I present you with a snuggling survey!

[Poll #1010445]

omg, so....it's possible everyone's seen this, but I had to share, because this is just the funniest thing ever.

Will Ferrell made this short film called The Landlord. possibly not worksafe because there is a small child swearing...use your judgement. but seriously, watch it when you can. *dies*

and if you watch it, you *have* to watch the outtakes.

this little girl is just adorable. I fear she's going to be cussing in public forever now, though. bwahaha.

the other day I came across this insult to women that's so horrible it's almost funny. yeah, it's in the marvel comics fandom and I don't read comics, but the flame war started by pointing out this piece of mysogyny is kind of...well ok, last week on the local news this car thief jumped the rail on the freeway and ended up with the nose of the car wedged between two merging sections of freeway, dangling on the precipice of tipping and falling to his doom.

some things you can't help but stare at, in other words.

the way this chick has handled the trolls and wankery made me fall in love with her a little bit, and I told her so.

the other lesson of the day is, did you know you can freeze a thread on your journal or a comment you've posted in someone else's? I'd never even wondered what that little cube-looking thing was about. good to know. dunno that I'll ever need to know that, but I just thought it was cool.


ETA: oh, and while I'm here, I'm probably going to post more I Burn today or tomorrow, but other than that I won't be around much for the rest of the weekend. I'm going to Houston to spend some QT with my brother-who's-not-my-brother and some old friends

ETA2: yeah, no. I think I was right the first time. sorry.

uh. so I haven't even been on, so I haven't answered comments yet but uh.

sometimes my brain gets eaten by these really cracked out ideas. and like. this one was just so weird and funny that it had to be shared. weird and funny but hot.

I have a kink for fucking in moving vans with other people up front, listening and sneaking glances in the rearview.

in fic. *stares at you in consternation*

what if there was just a whole 'verse that consisted of nothing but fucking in a van. I guess it would have to be human AU, so that Spike and Angel never get crispy. and it wouldn't matter why they were in the van, or where they were going, or how the hell they fit all those people in there and still had room for a mattress, they would just be...fucking. in a van. with no attention paid to monogamy or anything trivial like that. a big porny free-for-all, a regular revolving door of pairings and positions. while everyone else listens. and possibly watches.

I guess not *everyone* could be in the van at once. it would get kind of crowded in there. and they probably couldn't conduct more than a threesome, so orgies are out. you just don't have the headroom for that kind of thing.


.....I am seriously disturbed.

I essentially didn't sleep last night, so I'm a bit bleary. we'll see if my brain makes sense to anyone else.

is it canon that the Master's name was Nest? sometimes I run across that in fic, and I am not even sure whether that's actually meant to be him, haha. *feels like she missed the party* and why is it that in every fic where there are "Master vampires with a court and minions" there is a right-hand vamp named Damien? sooo many. that must have come from someone else's canon. that or...I don't even know how to explain it.

and is it ever established in canon whether Spike could point a gun at someone with the intent to pull the trigger? I know he loads the rifle for Buffy but his intent crumbles so quickly. the chip is such a weird damn thing. he's able to hit people to escape the initiative, and later is in writhing pain if he looks at someone wrong.

sometimes I wonder what Angel was thinking in the pilot when that producer told him he was a beautiful man and gave him his card. his reaction to being told he's beautiful is...he almost doesn't have one. not embarrassed or smug or flustered or any of the reactions that we would see from him to such a statement in fic. he's just sort of matter-of-fact when he says thanks...and just the *slightest* bit confused. but the confusion doesn't really come till the landscape architect thing.

I guess he's probably been told that for 250 years.

I was updating my fic master list yesterday, and looking over my spander fic...why is it that I am a gigantic perv when it comes to that pairing? lmao. I write older/younger in other pairings, but not ever like *that*. Dawn is usually young in my fic, but that's more incidental than anything...she's young in canon, and I always write her in the regular buffyverse. spangel, I like to write on equal footing generally. but for spander, it's always older Spike, younger Xander. I do have one fic on my hard drive that I toy with where they're peers, but at this rate, it might never see the light of day. the perv always snags my uppermost attention.

I think it may be because, had spander ever occurred to me before I read fanfic, that kind of power dynamic is how I would have envisioned them. doesn't take into account later seasons, but that makes sense to me because the xander that rings my bell is s1-3.

I think I'm just a sicko and there's no help for it. oh well.

my brain is far too cluttered with Buffy. I need to do spring cleaning.

this is....
I think this is hotter than most porn I've ever seen. be sure to watch with the sound up. the noises that the shorter guy makes are... *drifts to a happy place* all those whimpering sounds I imagine when I write porn and then think, "how many guys actually make sounds like that during sex?" this video validates all of them. really.

according to the summary, they're a couple. I guess being filmed making out by their friend. bless him.

will I ever get tired of looking at David Boreanaz? no. no I won't

( here be Bones spoilers...mostly, pointless whining. )


man marries horse. read all about it.

I had to laugh when I saw that one of the critics had this to say:

Honestly, dude? If you're gonna be doing something with the horse, and the horse didn't want you to? The horse would let you know with a hard kick. Frankly thats not what I find overtly strange. The idea of marrying the horse, I find strange.

*headdesk* for the record, I have a problem with a man fucking a horse. on several levels.




the Texas House today shot down the HPV vaccine order. by enough votes that they'd be able to overturn it if Perry (the governor) vetoed. fuckers. knew it was too good to be true in this state.

I'm bummed about fandom the past week, dude. there's so much bad energy flying around, and some of my favorite people appear to have flown the coop several months ago, and things are just slow this week. it's sucktastic, and everyone I've talked to is feeling drained.

but let's not talk about any of that at all. really. not a word. what I want to do is cheer us up.

I want to know 5 things that made you fall in love with Spike and Angel, as individuals. five for Spike, and five for Angel. for those of you who like one and not the other, by all means just do the one you like. but if you love em both, gimme em both.

no physical attributes. we all love James' abs and David's puppy eyes. we know this. I'm talking characterization, people. and also uh...since the exercise is feel-good vibes, no picking on each other's characterization, no matter how wacko you think it is. if you love Angel for wearing stripey socks, I will not remind you that you're thinking of David :D

...oh, I suppose I should kick us off first, huh? ok:

Angel:
1. I love that he has a sense of humor that no one expects and therefore, that very few people get.
2. I love that, despite knowing he should find Spike's shenanigans completely unconscionable, he still gets a kick out of them sometimes, even though he'd never let Spike know it.
3. I love that even when he was soulless, and even though he didn't believe he was capable of love at all, he loved Darla as an equal and a partner in crime, Dru as a spoiled daughter (no, really), and Spike in spite of himself.
4. I love him as a dad, and everything that went with that.
5. I love that stubbornly, inevitably, he will always be a cowboy at heart.

Spike:
1. I love that he is so freaking pussy-whipped. but he won't hesitate to conk Dru over the head, and then lovingly settle her against his side as they ride off into the sunset. *snerk*
2. I love that when you get him around Angel, he's 12. in all senses of the age.
3. I love that he's a pathological liar when it comes to his image. how'd you get that soul again, Spike? he's so good, he convinces himself.
4. I love that he's a weeble. *watches him wobble*
5. This is probably wrong of me, but I like his tendency to reach for a bottle of liquor as soon as things go wrong. *snickers* what? I like my fantasy men dysfunctional.


*leans her head in her hands and waits for all of you to share.

ok, nyghtpet pointed me towards this website. this website to track the dangers of The Big Gay Band. you know the ones. you're sitting around, innocently listening to their music, and all of a sudden an arms comes flying out of the radio, waving a gay wand over you, and all the little gay dust gets all up in your clothes. and then you're queer as a two-dollar bill.

I hate it when that happens.

a few things I'd like to note:

• Oscar Wilde was a "reformed" homosexual? I always thought he was the plain kind.
  
• for some reason Metallica gets *photographic evidence* of their deviance.
  
• Marilyn Manson is "dark gay". someone kindly explain to me what that is. lmao. is it like dark meat? because in that case, it's fatty. they're right to call our attention to it.
  
• Elton John is...*drum roll* REALLY gay! I know, I was shocked as well. he was always such a nice boy...you just never can tell.
  
• JAY-Z is on the list. fucking Jay-Z. I know. it's always the quiet ones. *blank look*

and last but certainly my favorite. george michael = texan.

....

steers
and
queers

and an even better point...who snuck Cyndi Lauper on to the safe list? "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" has been known to turn little boys limp-wristed and lispy on sight. *nods sagely*



and in case you want to yark, you should watch his video, God Hates Fags. yes really. must not be the God I'm familiar with. some other guy. case of mistaken identity.

this makes me want to write spangel where their parents shove them into one of these programs, and they meet and fall in love and fuck happily all over their austere little cots. someday I might have to do that. because spangel is my antidrug, and I don't drink the kool-aid :)

OMG, one last addition! tell me this isn't the gayest logo you've ever seen. how do you spell irony again?